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The Burden of Emotional Suppression: Exploring its Impact on Men's Mental Health

Juie Acharya

4 Min Read

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“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

Sigmund Freud

Sigmund Freud was an Austrian neurologist who began clinical work in the 1880s. He founded psychoanalysis, and his work revolutionized our understanding of the human mind and behavior. In this article, let’s understand how valid his statement about unexpressed emotions is in the present day, especially in the context of men’s mental health.

Emotional suppression is the conscious act of inhibiting or restraining one’s emotions. It involves hiding or holding back one’s feelings and not expressing them openly. Avoiding emotional conversations, avoiding any expression of vulnerability like tears, distracting our mind, and saying that we are unaffected by certain challenging situations, are some of the ways in which emotional suppression is manifested in our day-to-day lives.

Throughout time, our society has implied certain norms or expectations they have from men. These norms dictate that men must be strong, emotionally resilient, and be the primary provider for their families. The society we live in often conditions us to believe that when these expectations are met, only then do we deserve to be accepted and respected in society. While every individual deserves to feel worthy and respected irrespective of their conforming to these norms, most individuals find it difficult to let go of these expectations because they have been ingrained in us since childhood.

While all individuals irrespective of their gender can experience emotional struggles, there is a particular burden placed on men when it comes to expressing and processing their feelings. Since childhood, boys have been told ‘’Boys don’t cry’’ or have heard Bollywood dialogues like ‘’Mard ko dard nahi hota’’ (Men don’t feel hurt). These messages create a culture of emotional suppression that follows men into adulthood. Fulfilling these societal expectations often leads to men suppressing their true emotions which results in a detrimental impact on their overall mental health and wellbeing. Here are some of the consequences of emotional suppression for men :

The development of depression and anxiety is one of the significant impacts emotional suppression has on men’s mental health. When emotions are consistently suppressed for a prolonged amount of time, they tend to accumulate and build up. The continuous effort to hold back emotions requires a lot of mental energy and can lead to a state of internal tension. This buildup can result in increased stress levels and feelings of sadness or hopelessness. Men may find it challenging to recognize and address these emotions since they have become accustomed to suppressing them. As a result, stress, anxiety, and depression can manifest as unexplained physical concerns like headaches, digestive issues, sleep-related problems, or chronic fatigue, making it even harder to identify the root cause.

Suppressed emotions can also build up intensity and show up in the form of anger. Studies confirm that bottling up emotions can make people more aggressive. In the societal context as well, displaying anger is a more acceptable emotion for men. Frequent displays of aggression can have adverse effects on a relationship.

Further, in order to develop and maintain a healthy relationship, it is crucial to effectively communicate our feelings and connect with another person on an emotional level. Thus, constant suppression of emotions can hinder the ability to form healthy relationships and as a result, intimate relationships, friendships, and familial bonds may suffer and further lead to more feelings of loneliness and isolation. Additionally, the inability to express oneself and reach out for help for one’s emotional needs may further intensify the mental health struggles that men may be going through.

In regard to the professional well-being of men, the impact of emotional suppression can be manifested in the form of men being pressured to conform to traditional gender roles like being assertive, competitive, and emotionally detached. This pressure to conform to gender roles and suppress their feelings can lead to increased stress, burnout, and decreased job satisfaction for men. Men may resist seeking help or expressing their mental health challenges due to the fear of being perceived as a sign of weakness or affecting their professional reputation. Consequently, they may suffer in silence, amplifying the negative impact on their mental well-being.

For men who have been habituated to suppressing their emotions, it may take some time and practice to begin expressing their feelings more openly. Here are some small ways to start:

Self-reflection: Take some time out on a daily basis to reflect on the emotions that you have experienced throughout the day and be mindful of the physical sensations associated with them. This self-reflection and awareness can help in identifying and acknowledging one’s own feelings.
Journaling: Note down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. This journal can be your private and safe space for you to express yourself freely and non-judgmentally. Remember, all your emotions are valid.
Talk to a trusted friend or family member: Reach out to someone you trust and who is supportive of you. Share your feelings with them, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Having someone who can actively listen and provide support can be immensely helpful in starting to express emotions. In case you are unable to identify any individual in your support system, reach out to a mental health professional who can listen to your experience and help you work towards emotion regulation.

Here, it is important to know that emotional suppression and emotional regulation are separate concepts. Emotional regulation involves recognizing and managing emotions in a healthy manner, whereas emotional suppression involves denying or suppressing emotions altogether. Finding a balance between acknowledging and expressing emotions while also regulating them effectively is crucial for overall emotional well-being.

The burden of emotion suppression and its effect can vary across individuals. By challenging societal expectations, promoting awareness, and providing the necessary support, we can create a society that embraces emotional vulnerability and empowers men to prioritize their mental well-being.

Remember that seeking help is a display of strength rather than weakness. It requires bravery to acknowledge when assistance is needed and to take proactive measures toward enhancing your mental well-being. Do not hesitate to reach out and arrange a session with a psychologist who can offer guidance and resources to help you navigate your emotions and cultivate a more satisfying existence.

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Written by

Juie Acharya

Ms Juie is a counseling psychologist and is currently working as an Associate Manager for the Speciality of Mental Wellness at MFine. She has 4 years of experience as a Mental Health Professional and is skilled in individual psychotherapy, crisis intervention, behavior therapy for children with special needs as well as clinical psychology. She is a Queer Affirmative counselor, practicing psychotherapy with a Trauma Informed lens and a Rights-Based approach. She has carried out 2000+ one on one counseling sessions for 20+ types of cases using a psychosocial perspective.

The Burden of Emotional Suppression: Exploring its Impact on Men's Mental Health

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